thanks on thanksgiving

I don't know about you, but this past Thanksgiving has been more then a blessing for me! It has not only been a time of rest, but a time to finally catch my breathe... a busy schedule sometimes has it's drawbacks, I have found.   Even though I am a tad bit late on my "thanksgiving" post, the holiday festivities and upcoming exams have taken my full attention these past few days. This does not negate the fact, however, that this past Thanksgiving has captured my heart completely in the many reasons to be thankful. Reminiscing on the past and present moments of my life on that fine, Thursday night, I was shocked at just how faithful my God has been. Isn't it funny how we so often have the audacity to be fearful, worried, anxious when the Lord has been constant and sovereign through every season? Well, once I came to this realization of my stupidity and of his wonder, I could not help but giggle! Every anxious thought, every prayer, every tear, every cry... He has patiently quieted me with his perfect peace. Unbelievable.

It is easy to sink into a mood of self-pity; I know from experience. Circumstances and season arise having the appearance that the world will not continue revolving because of it. In these moments, we become angry, scarred, depressed, lonely... you pick. But these emotions and reactions, my friend, are not based off trust. The beauty of the Lord's faithfulness can only be displayed in our life if we choose to surrender our fears, and free-fall into the arms of the Creator who promises that He is in control. But in that moment, when all your tears are dried, fears released, and faithfulness revealed, there is absolutely nothing better. 

I remember the circumstances, the hard times, the moments of sadness and loneliness in my life, but in those moments, I would go through them all again to have what I have now: the awareness and trust in the always-faithful character of my King. So, in the end, He is what I am thankful for this year. :)

clarity in the silence

In the quiet, in the stillness, I was finally ready to listen.

This past week, I left the hustle and bustle of Raleigh and embarked on a journey, a road trip actually, across the country... to Indiana. The further and further we drove, the more I felt a release from my weary heart and clouded thoughts. Over these few months, I have experienced a very frustrating and confusing lack of words. I must have sat down to write a post 20 times; yet, no words formed. This, I assume, resulted from my lack of clarity of what REALLY was going on in my heart. What was God awakening in me? What was He teaching and why wasn't I able to decipher my thoughts, but more importantly, His words? As this continued, the lie of discouraged creeped in with an extra doss of weariness. So, as I headed into the very rare, Fort Wayne, Indiana, I came broken and in much need of my Savior to take control one more, and restore me.
Where we stayed for that week was no convenience; I am convinced. We stayed at a seminary that was closed for the summer, and rented out rooms until fall. Though a bit dingy, the campus had an open field filled with grass and tremendously large trees. It had no internet connection. And on top of that, my cell phone was dead for a good amount of the trip. Now that I look back, I can already see the Lord readying my heart, detaching from the unimportant, my cares, worries, and  instead, let stillness begin to seep in.
One morning, as all the rest of my family left the seminary, a few of us stayed back. I distinctly remember walking out to that field. I could hear nothing but the rustle of wind through the tress. I felt a peace and joy overtake my body and push out every anxiety and confusion. All I felt was His presence, so near and thick. As He began whispering His truths into my life, I could HEAR Him. Everything stood still, and all that mattered again was my Lord and my Master. My heart was not only quiet, but willing. I realize now why there had been a lack of clarity, I had to come to a place of surrender and full dependance.
I find, so often, when the enemy tries put an end to the Lords plans in our life, he does so by the means of discouragement and through the tool of "feelings". What do we do in this situations? We quiet ourselves. Cut out the noise and distractions that creep in so easily, and we wait on the Lord. We listen to His truths and His never failing promises...
     "Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him..."
-Psalm 37:7
     "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
 - Isaiah 41:10

I will WAIT... for You.

When I first watched this, the first thing i thought... oh man. Conviction, maybe? The Lord is always reminding of HIS perfect plan, and yet still, I doubt His already thought out, planned out, and uniquely crafted plans for my life. He tells me to wait on HIM, and yet, I am fall into my sinful nature, and in impatience, at times, disregard his caring reminders. This video was SUCH a great reminder of how exactly the Lord has predestined this WAIT; but, more then just that, but making us question how much are we willing to surrender? When we say, "Jesus, You alone are MORE than enough!"... is that truly were are heart is? Being truthful with you readers, I had to examine my heart and find areas in my life were I needed to surrender to my King and ask Him to consume those very areas of my life were I thought He did not satisfy. Let me tell you, after this surrender and when the peace of the Lord, and the freedom that it brings, takes over your heart and mind, brace yourself, because experiencing that will take your breathe away at the greatest of the Lord! Guaranteed. I speak from personal experience. :)

The ultimate title [I am a SLAVE of Christ]

The Lord has been revealing Himself more and more to me as the past weeks have gone by. Simple things like the wind, the rain, the moon and the stars absolutely captivate me from the display of beauty created by MY creator. And on top of that, I, Rachel Miller, am HIS creation... And He says I exceed all of the stars combined :) How cool... WE, His creation, display His beauty!
On top of this new found joy brought by my Savior, the Lord has been also been strengthening me, equipping me, and preparing me for sometime. This past week I have learned of why... Thursday night I went to a missions dinner. This dinner had the purpose of making our goals of how much we would, as a youth ministry, raise for mission this year. Specifically, raising money for sweet, innocent, little girls in India who have been sold into sex-trafficing. As this dinner went on, with tears in my eyes, the Lord began breaking my heart for these precious children. As I began contemplating, doubting, and arguing the thoughts in my head, I heard our district youth director say one thing that shook me to the core, and, of course, the Lord repeated in my ear for only me to hear this time, He said,

Rachel, these are MY girls

My heart dropped. Just as the Lord tenderly rescued me, pursued me, and swept me off my feet, these little girls needed a rescuer. They too desired to be pursued, loved, and held by their Daddy. With a following question, He said,

Now, what are you going to do about this, my love?

With that, and of course the many slue of doubts, with the help of my Lord, took hold of this, and we, Elevate youth ministry and I, pledged to raise $54,000.00 for oversees missions. Along with this, of course, will come much time, PRAYER, and seeking the Lords face, but I believe with everything I am, with the Lord, we can do this!
God is good. He desires to use each one of us, isn't that incredible? He HAS a plan for you... you just have to be willing.

A song that has caught my heart lately is the song by Misty Edwards, I will waste my life. I wanted to share some of these incredibly powerful lyrics with you...



I will waste my life I'll be tested and tried
With no regrets inside of me to find I'm at Your feet

I'll leave my father's house and I'll leave my mother
I'll leave all I have known and I'll have no other

I am in love with You There is no cost
I am in love with You There is no loss
I am in love with You I want to take Your name
I am in love with You I want to cling to You Jesus
Just let me cling to You Jesus

I'll say goodbye to my father my mother
I'll turn my back on every other love and
I'll press on yes I'll press on

A Hard, Intense, Unhindered Gaze...

If you could see me now, you would see my giddy expression spread all across my face; My thoughts are simply consumed with the goodness of Jesus... He is truly amazing, isn't He?
It has taken me a couple weeks to fully comprehend this work the Lord has began in me. Throughout this week though, when my various questions to the Lord of this strange state I am currently in arose, one word has continued to echo in my mind... FOCUS. Now, being truthful, the first reaction I had to this was, "Okay Rachel," and of course, this WAS, naturally, all said aloud, "you need to FOCUS. I need to get into the Word more... I need to be in prayer more, I need to stop letting media be an influence on my day, I need to define who I am, wholly, in who I am in the Lord..." yada yada yada. Now, as I continued my list on my new goals and focal points, though all necessary things, I realized I was leaving one key ingredient out... HAH. I bet you can guess. :) Where was the Lord in all this? While I was so busy making my list of the things in need of changing, guess Who was there ready to take my every burden? My savior.
This time in my life so reminds me of Peter and Jesus...

So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But, when he saw the strong wind and the waves , he was terrified and began to sink. "Save me Lord!" He shouted. Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him, "You have so little faith," Jesus said. Why did you doubt me?" (Matthew 14:29-31)

Its true. When the Lord begins to move, our focus is directed at Him, and then, we see OUR circumstance, OUR hurts, OUR insecurities, OUR flaws,and OUR doubts. Then, we suddenly shift our attention to our "problems" and are no longer fixated on the Lord, our Redeemer, our Healer, our Comforter, our JESUS. The Holy Spirit so patiently and lovingly convicted me of this very thing. I have been so blessed to experience the joy and release that comes with this surrender of control, and to only FOCUS on the One who calms the raging storms. With our eyes SET on the perfecter of our faith, we can have total confidence that our lives are in good care.

The Simple Act of Sacrifice

Lately, I have felt as if I run in circles at times. The Lord has been laying out exactly what I need to hear and yet I have a way of rejecting it with the notation that it is never quite that easy. I bet He just laughs... He knows it IS actually that easy. I simply lack stretching out my hands and TAKING His encouragement, His provisions, and at times, His correction. 2 Corinthians 12:9 has repeatedly come to my mind this past month...

But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

January 3rd I began my fast of media. Little did I know what a struggle it would be giving it up... the music, the shows, the movies... I had no idea the hold it had over me until I realized how unbearable it would be to release it for only 40 days. How could I let something so consumed with this culture and yet so contradictory with scripture as media sneakily creep it's way into my life? Now, I warn you, this "hold" does come in many different ways... For instance: You can NOT miss the newest episode of Glee to save your life? Check. You sit and listen to songs that break your heart and place you in a don't-talk-to-me mood? Check. And then... the moment came... the moment of realization. If I want to be Holy like He is Holy, my life needs to be above reproach in a way that is sometimes against the norm. The scariest thing I noticed through this journey of mine, however, was the numbness of the Spirit that this media grip enabled on me. The Lord convicted me and I, unquestioned and readily, gave up this "media" grip on my life.
He has blessed me more then I can explain. His presence is so much more evident throughout my day and His voice is so much clearer and constant. Without the distractions and noises the enemy had between me and my King, I have a a greater joy, passion for His word, attitude for worship, and an unhindered confidence in the work the Lord is continuing in me.
I encourage you to do the same...
In Psalms, David had a similar conversation with the Lord,

Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong— then guide me on the road to eternal life.

Be encouraged, God has begun a good work in you and will continue to work in your heart. He will pursue you, encourage you, and teach you. The only job we have is to be open, moldable, and usable. (: