clarity in the silence

In the quiet, in the stillness, I was finally ready to listen.

This past week, I left the hustle and bustle of Raleigh and embarked on a journey, a road trip actually, across the country... to Indiana. The further and further we drove, the more I felt a release from my weary heart and clouded thoughts. Over these few months, I have experienced a very frustrating and confusing lack of words. I must have sat down to write a post 20 times; yet, no words formed. This, I assume, resulted from my lack of clarity of what REALLY was going on in my heart. What was God awakening in me? What was He teaching and why wasn't I able to decipher my thoughts, but more importantly, His words? As this continued, the lie of discouraged creeped in with an extra doss of weariness. So, as I headed into the very rare, Fort Wayne, Indiana, I came broken and in much need of my Savior to take control one more, and restore me.
Where we stayed for that week was no convenience; I am convinced. We stayed at a seminary that was closed for the summer, and rented out rooms until fall. Though a bit dingy, the campus had an open field filled with grass and tremendously large trees. It had no internet connection. And on top of that, my cell phone was dead for a good amount of the trip. Now that I look back, I can already see the Lord readying my heart, detaching from the unimportant, my cares, worries, and  instead, let stillness begin to seep in.
One morning, as all the rest of my family left the seminary, a few of us stayed back. I distinctly remember walking out to that field. I could hear nothing but the rustle of wind through the tress. I felt a peace and joy overtake my body and push out every anxiety and confusion. All I felt was His presence, so near and thick. As He began whispering His truths into my life, I could HEAR Him. Everything stood still, and all that mattered again was my Lord and my Master. My heart was not only quiet, but willing. I realize now why there had been a lack of clarity, I had to come to a place of surrender and full dependance.
I find, so often, when the enemy tries put an end to the Lords plans in our life, he does so by the means of discouragement and through the tool of "feelings". What do we do in this situations? We quiet ourselves. Cut out the noise and distractions that creep in so easily, and we wait on the Lord. We listen to His truths and His never failing promises...
     "Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him..."
-Psalm 37:7
     "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
 - Isaiah 41:10